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You’ve done the hand over notes, and set your out of office message. You survived the flight, including the dodgy chicken (just). You’ve landed in Bangkok, and there’s only minutes between you, cheap beer and banana rotis. Disembark, immigration, luggage, taxi – BEER! But what if you’ve made a rookie mistake (or just a bit thick like me), and failed to check the public holidays at your destination?
Well, shit. Now what?
Patience.
There won’t be enough immigration staff rostered on – they’re all off enjoying the long weekend! Forget that headache you’ve got, caused by the guy next to you on the plane dropping his carry-on suitcase on your head in his rush to get out. You’re in front of him in the line for immigration anyway. It doesn’t matter that every man and his dog is in front of you, and you can’t even see the immigration desks. Do the “who has the passports?” dance a few times with your husband. Discuss which bars to hit once you clear the airport. Absolutely do not point out the number of snail-based skincare ads in the arrivals hall – apparently this is an irritating habit of mine.
Multitask.
Practice your Thai by parroting the near constant PA announcements about baggage and inbound flights, but do this under your breath; your husband won’t be as entertained as you. Resist the urge to dance once your passports are finally stamped; simultaneously curse that your own nation is not part of ASEAN and you could have breezed through 45 minutes ago. Hopefully your bags are arriving by now, and not lost somewhere in the inner sanctum of Suvarnabhumi Airport after a very inconvenient power failure like ours were (at which point I wished I knew how to swear in Thai).
Adapt.
The lines. Oh god, the lines. Accept that lines are your life now. Everything is lines. Passports stamped, baggage collected, you’ll then clap eyes on the taxi queue. I swear, I’ve seen shorter lines in Woolies on Boxing Day (less shoving though). Hundreds of people and their piles of luggage waiting for a ride. Outside in Bangkok nighttime heat. That’d be a big ‘no thank you please’. By this point, conversations with your husband are non-existent and you’re communicating in sighs, eye-rolls and grunts. You should be celebrating your arrival in bar on Sukhumvit by now. And your head still hurts from that suitcase (jerk). Make like a local, and head for the Airport Rail Link. Watch a few Thais purchase their tickets, take a guess on which station you’ll need to get off at and dive right in. Upside, the lines are shorter! And its cheaper! Slight downside… seats may be in short supply. But who cares, you’re leaving the airport!
Patience… again.
Leave the Airport Rail Link at Phayathai station, head for the street with the idea of catching a taxi for the final stretch to the hotel. After the relative peace and quiet of the train, the street is busy and almost overwhelming. Give me back the lines and order (just kidding, please don’t). The traffic is slow but moving. Husband sets out to find a cab. It’s a seemingly endless recital of ‘no sir cannot’ and head shaking. After a while, he admits defeat. Eye-roll, sigh. Your turn… and suddenly there’s no free cabs within site. Deep breaths, one will show up eventually. Plus, Bangkok serves beer late. Practice your best smile and ‘sawasdee ka’, prepare to flash your phone with the Thai address of the hotel. Finally, after exercising more patience than you ever though you had, a taxi pulls over and agrees to take you. Praise your preferred deity! To the hotel!
Relax. Laugh.
Laugh at the epic mission it was leave the plane and clear immigration. To get bags and find a way into the city. Laugh with your husband because you’ve made it without wanting to serve divorce papers. Even laugh with the hotel concierge when he says ‘I hope you had a good journey’. It’ll be an epic battle to make it from the airport to your accommodation, but it will be worth it. For all the huffing and puffing and eye-rolling, you’ll eventually get that beer. For the Thais, this is a time to celebrate. They’ll encourage you to participate in celebrating and honouring their much adored monarch, with songs, lighting candles and yellow ribbons. Fireworks over the palace and temples light up the night sky, flags hanging from every light post and tree.
You’ve made it, and its worth it. And what did you learn? Check the public holidays!
