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Husbando and I have talked a lot about opening a bar. We dream of selling up and running away to a foreign land, preferably somewhere warm although we’re not totally against the cold, to open a pub of our own. Sometimes it’s a retirement plan, other days its a joint mid-life crisis that is the catalyst for our venture. We’ve talked at length at what kind of establishment we’d open, our ideas changing as often as our favourite bar does. What makes a good bar? Thus, I present to you – a love letter to my favourite drinking establishments.
When I Open A Bar
When I open a bar, there’ll be plenty of space to sit outside. There’s nothing better than sitting outside enjoying the fresh air, and having a drink. In summer, there’ll be a retractable roof – nobody likes sunburn while they imbibe. In the winter – fire! Yes, when I open a bar, there’ll be a beer garden with a fireplace outside. A long one, so many patrons can sit in front of it, relaxing on modular outdoor lounges. Basically, I want to open a bar with beer garden like Barmuda, in Queenstown. Because when it’s cold, we can light the fire outside. We can get it blazing hot, and keep the whole garden toasty. You would be able to buy marshmallows from the bar, a dollar each. Roasting forks would sit in a bucket beside the fireplace. If it’s snowing, its a bonus.
When I open a bar, there’ll be plenty of space to sit outside. Beach side, beneath thatched umbrellas with toes in sand. There’ll be cold beer, and day beds topped with flowing blue and white fabric. The perfect amount of shade to sun ratio. We’ll play classic rock softly through the speakers, and serve fresh prawns by the bucket. Have you been Salt at An Bang Beach, Hoi An? That’s the kind of bar I want to open. There’ll be hammocks strung between palm trees, perfect for late afternoon naps, legs akimbo in the shade. We’ll serve cocktails in coconuts and pineapples, and there will be no dress code. Shoes are optional. We’ll hire out surfboards if people want a crack at the lazy waves, and if they don’t we’ll have bocce and finska on hand. Soft sea air and cold drinks in a tropical paradise, there’s little better in life.
When I open a bar, I want the walls to keep secrets. I want classic sophistication. The bar will be dark stained teak wood, with high stools pulled right up to it. We’ll serve whiskey sours and tiny bowls of peanuts. Patrons can smoke if they want to – a flash of a memory of days gone by. Even though it’s tropical and sticky, there’ll be no air conditioning. Just the quiet whirl of ceiling fans overhead. What I want, really, is to open a bar like Sarkies Bar at the Strand Hotel in Yangon. Ensconced in an old colonial style building, where writers, thinkers and dignitaries of days gone by traded secrets and whispers in the hallowed halls of the bar. And if those hallowed halls were so inclined to spill the secrets they’d borne witness to, they’d speak of daring plots and stolen kisses, of cigar smoke and expensive champagne, of untold wealth and outrageous parties. Think of the parties I could throw, in a bar like that.
When I open bar, it should be right amongst the party. It will be open to the heavens and the street, come what may. People can sit upstairs on the veranda, watching over the lunacy below. Those daring to be at the edge of the party will sit street side, prime targets for passing trinket salespeople and dancing tourists. Beer is cheap and served by the tower. Live sport projected on the wall, street food from outside allowed in. Old friends will meet there, at the easiest place to find on the street. It will be legendary; people will speak of the place for years to come. I want to open a place like the Silk Bar on Khao San Road. A bar so close to the manic party of Khao San Rd, it is at risk of sliding into the thunderous chasm of dance music and frenzied moves. I want to open the place that serves as both the beginning and the end of a night out, and the place that is the refuge for those seeking to take a breath. We’ll serve the tastiest local snacks – moo ping, som tam, and gai yang. The cocktails? They’ll be cheap, and by the bucket should you so desire. It will be the diving board to a wilder night, or a place of refuge to rest aching feet.
When I open a bar, it should be like a lounge. In old shophouses, across the street from each other. Worn, well-loved furniture, and cushions of green, pink and purple for guests to settle in as they watch the local street scene go by. It will sit in the most prized position – the edge of the night market. The scent of fresh grilled satay wafting through the large open doors, mixing with the heady scent of incense burning. Travellers weary from the day can laze about and write postcards. If you’ve ever been the Karma Sutra in Bophut, Koh Samui, you’ll know what I mean. A perfect spot for sundowners, beneath the breeze of the ceiling fans, watching as the night market bubbles into life. It will have the loved, lived in feel – like the inside of a genie’s lamp. Food will be easy, with pizzas and boards to share. Cocktails decorated not with umbrellas, but a purple orchid bloom. As the night falls and the crowd swells, there’ll be live music from local bands. Then as the night fades out, we watch the storm roll into the bay, the lightning slashing through the sky.
When I open a bar, we’ll do a theme. A real Art Deco theme; mirrors, low lighting and wrought iron. We’ll take over a two storey shophouse – we’ll keep the original caged dumb waiter to send beers from ground level to the rooftop bar. Craft beers, locally brewed, and a sweet mascot adorning the glasses. Stools pulled up to the bar and small booths for sharing. Staff who know their shit, and can regale the crowd with tales of their travels. Really, I want to open a place like Winking Seal, in Ho Chi Minh City. Where people are encouraged to sit for hours and share their stories, from all walks of life, and to taste as many beers as we can fit on the menu. Food will arrive by scooter from local kitchens – burgers, noodles and pizzas!
When I open a bar, I want to set the trend. I want to focus on local produce – colours, scents, flavours. I want to put an exotic, unique, local twist on classics. I’m talking tamarind martinis, kampot pepper margaritas, ginger mojitos. Cocktail tasting paddles! What a concept! What I really want, is something the Asana Old Wooden House in Siem Reap. An old Khmer wooden house, rustic seating, repurposed rice bags as cushion covers and bean bags, cocktail recipes drawing on the freshest local produce. Cocktail classes, where patrons learn to make these extraordinarily exotic concoctions – after they take a shot of the local fire water, sombai. The only cocktail bar where the air smells of lemongrass, galangal, tumeric and kaffir lime leaves. I want to celebrate local produce and flavours, and introduce people to re-invented old favourites. I want our bar to be memorable and one of a kind!
When I open a bar, I don’t only want to set the trend, I want to start a movement. I want to focus on the locals, on creating initiatives for the benefit of the community, on environmentally conscious actions. Recruit and train locals, use local knowledge. Get involved on a grass roots level, without the white saviour complex. Look, if you’ve ever been to 7 Bridges Brewing in Da Nang and spoken to the owner, Stanley, you’ll get it. Stanley is super passionate about looking after his people and his community – “it’s not just what we brew, it’s what we do”, he says. Environmentally responsible decisions around brewing, packaging, sourcing produce and waste products. Involvement in local initiatives to fund children’s education and services, and combat plastic pollution. Exercising a social conscience, and making a positive impact on the location we choose.
If you’ve been reading my words for a while, you’ll know that Husbando and I are pretty quick to find ourselves a watering hole or two when we travel. There was more than a few places to choose from, but these ones are my absolute favourites. These places have stuck with me, for different reasons. They’re the first places I send people to when they ask for recommendations and they’re the first places I’d go back to.
Tell me some of your favourite bars around the world. And if you could open a bar, what would it be like?
NB: time has moved on and the wonderful Silk Bar on Khao San Road is no longer around, rest its soul.
